Thursday, April 21, 2011

"Meh"-mphis 4/19-21: The South on $80

Ok Memphis, you win.  I had a hell of a time getting to you: my Megabus engine failed in Effingham, IL and we were stranded 3 hours before the driver had the bright idea to call a mechanic.  Finally back on the road and we get hit with an epic thunderstorm, plus traffic delays because of 3 overturned semi's.  My 10 hour ride turned into 14 hours.  When I finally arrived to you it was 1am and I don't know you too well, Memphis, but I could tell I wasn't in your safest part.  So I got a cab ride, which was $10 AKA 10 times the amount of my bus ticket.  But hey, can I complain?  I got to Memphis for a buck.

You guys know I'm frugal.  Maybe Memphis didn't.  Every museum costs big bucks.  Civil Rights Museum $13, Cotton Museum $9, Graceland $31-70, and Mud Island $12.

This includes a monorail ride, but honestly, save yourself the money, just walk across the bridge and you get in for free.  Mud Island has a 1/2 mile to scale model of the Mississippi River,  which is kind of cool, but not worth $12.
One more disappointment.  Silky O'Sullivans, this bar has mountain goats which drink beer (your beer if you share) and climb a tower: drunk.  Awesome right?  Not since 2 years ago: PETA got wind of it and made them stop.  Thanks PETA!

At least they have trolleys.  The oldest I've ever seen.  Honestly, the fare was a fur pelt.
But I gotta say the BBQ was amazing.  I asked the manager of Blues City, (the supposed best in the world)

Me:  So you have good BBQ eh?  I just came from Oklahoma Joe's in Kansas City and they had the best Pulled Pork sandwich I've ever had.
Manager: (speaking into voicebox) ummmm, Oklahoma Joe's ain't got shit.

Ok, maybe they didn't.  Autotune was right.  The best slab of ribs ever.

Where did I stay in Memphis?  Here's a story for you.  A hippie co-op with at least 10 people coming in and out. I never figured out who was a resident.  Did I mention I was there  April 20th?  I swear I didn't plan this: Couchsufing in a hippie co-op on 4/20.  I'm getting a contact high just writing about it.  Have no fear readers, I did not get high, but super drunk. Drunk enough to mistake my bus for a later time and I ended up missing my bus.  That's right, I missed my 11:15pm, (which I could've sworn was 11:55pm), now I'm stuck downtown Memphis in the middle of the night, again.  Luckily, my girlfriend called and guided me to a solution: I had to get back home, and soon.  I had a film to do in the morning, plus work.  I ended up catching a Greyhound at 12:30am which would bring me back to Chicago's arms at 10:30am.  Oh yeah, it costs $80.  80 times the amount of my original ticket.  I made an $80 mistake.  It's my Midwest on $25 compromised? No, if you're not an idiot like me, you can still travel cheap.  It could be done, but for heaven's sake, remember to catch your bus!
They have a pyramid!
So there is no comedy club in Memphis.  I know, right?  So, the hippies actually were throwing a party on 4/20 and had some bands come over.  I was itching to perform and my host suggested I could do a couple minutes in between band set-up.  Bring it on!

Ok before I go, Memphis had some good things to mention: the blues scene, Beale Street, Elvis Presley, the Peabody ducks, and very friendly people.  It was a departure for me, this isn't the Midwest anymore, welcome to the South!

1 comment:

  1. Nice work! A gig's a gig.

    Hey, was that guy talking into a voice box like a guy who smokes too much? Hilarious . . .

    Just did a post on Nerd Rape. Don't miss it.